American Idol, Season 9: The Ultimate WTF?

Dear American Idol Season 9,
WTF?!?
Love,
Bridget
aka Token White Girl

Fast and up front, I will admit that I have not religiously followed American Idol since Season 2. The year was 2003, Big Boy Ruben Studdard was the show's winner, but pocket sized sprite Clay Aiken (aka Lucky Charms) was the show's winner. (That was NOT a typo.) Since then, I've had better things to do. Like read. And clean the bathroom. But this year, I've decided to get back in touch with my ab fave perpetually bored and brutally honest Brit, Simon Cowell, as well as down an extra daily dose of my wicked funny homegirl Ellen D. (Big ups to my dawg RJ, too. Word.) However, season 9 is offering far from America's best.

The song choices this season have been boring (that's putting it mildly) and long past their expiration date. The bulk of contestants themselves are likened to the cast of your average local dinner theater, where Jean Val Jean serves up the dry chicken before he takes the stage. Tonight's episode, was painfully, rather-have-a-root-canal AWFUL. There were more wish-I-had-a-vodka-soda-to-go-with-this-craptastic-karaoke-in-a-rundown-bar performances than there were of truly solid, vote worthy brand. So, that's what we will focus on, kids. The vote worthy. Because if I have to relive those flat, off-key, pitchless nightmares over again... well, let's just say, there's not enough Ativan on this side of the galaxy for that.

Partiality be damned, Crystal Bowersox is my absolute fave. Tonight she and her six string took on Janis Joplin's "Me & Bobby McGee." There is little to say about Crystal, because while she emanates that Joplin vibe (Crystal kinda even looks like Janis!), she makes every performance honestly hers and tonight was no exception. Week after week, Crystal has been the contestant I most look forward to seeing, and once again she was AI's brightest spot tonight. Love her. Can't wait for her album.

Another consistently bright spot on Idol is 16 year old country star in the making, Aaron Kelly. Reminiscent in tone of Rascal Flatts' Gary LeVox, his youth is surprisingly not a factor into his time on the stage. It's not hard to close your eyes and see this kid at the top of Nashville's charts. Tonight Aaron spun is charming twang into a fairly decent rendition of Aerosmith's mega-smash "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing." While it wasn't his best performance (we're guessing that he was a lil' nervous with Miley Cyrus in the audience), Aaron still made tonight's episode of American Idol that much more tolerable.

It's no secret that Casey James is uber easy on the eyes, but it's just as clear that Casey is much more than eye candy. While the 25 year old Huey Lewis song he chose, "The Power of Love," was wicked dated, Casey actually pulled it off, nearly matching Huey's warm, raspy quality. And dude is mad crazy on his electric guitar. (By the way, WTF is up with all the damn guitars this season?!?) While it didn't drive us to the edge of our reclining sofa seat with excitement, it was a save in an otherwise dull evening.

I also have a soft spot for Lee Dewyze, but I can't saw that I "got" his performance tonight. Lee chose The Box Top's "The Letter." A Memphis bluesy rock band, The Box Tops lost lead singer Alex Chilton last Wednesday, March 17, so we're assuming that Lee's song choice was an ode to Alex. But, really? REALLY? You have millions of people watching you, you've got a great voice that is this Nickelback-Hinder hybrid, and you chose a little known 1960s blues song, when you can chose ANY Billboard #1 EVER? REALLY? Again, we're back to the song choices, kids. YAWN. Randy loved it, but we weren't so thrilled, dawg.

Yeah. And that is all the positive I can recall from tonight's show. There was not a lot to get you to pick up the BlackBerry and vote this evening. Even fan fave BIG Mike Lynche left us feeling underwhelmed and unfulfilled with his rather standard version of the ol' standard "When A Man Loves A Woman." BO-RING! How many times will the judges-- and viewers-- have to hammer the need for BETTER song choice into the collective season 9 head?!? Every week we're hoping for a better week. And if that better week doesn't happen soon, FOX is going to have to rename the show "American Crapfest." And I'm going to have to find some fresh reading material.

Oh, and I'm thinking this summer's American Idol Tour might not be so hot.

Who we could stand to see go home this week: Paige Miles (Save it for church! 'Cause apparently that's where you left it!) and Tim Urban (Alright already! He should have stayed home. So, he's Zac Effron-ish. Get over it already. And stop letting the 12 year olds near the damn phone!)

TA-DAH! The Eclipse One Sheet Is HERE!

So, at LONG last, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse one sheet movie poster is here! I know I'm happy as a Volturi in an unsecured blood bank, 'cause K. Stew (aka Bella Swan) is front and center, flanked by her homeboys R. Pattz (Edward Cullen) and T. Lau (Jacob Black). And the love triangle is complete! Kristen looks absolutely fabulous! Ab fab, baby! Oh, and Rob and Taylor aren't half bad, either. Only 98 days till Eclipse hits theaters in all of its vamped-up wolfy goodness.

Free Pastry Day At Starbucks

Tomorrow, Tuesday, March 23 is once again free pastry day at Starbucks. When you purchase your brewed coffee or blended espresso beverage of choice, present this coupon for your free pastry. You can still snag a free bagel, scone or muffin even if you don't have a hard copy of the coupon. Simply show your barista the coupon on your iPhone or BlackBerry and this mad sweet deal is yours! Just be sure to present your coupon or mobile device when placing your order before 10:30 am. Happy Tuesday kids! Make it a good one!

My Favorite Things: OPI Nail Lacquer, Hong Kong Collection

I don't do pastels. I don't do pastels because I'm wicked pale. So wicked pale that my shade is Tupperware. As in so pale that I'm see-through. (Annie Lennox remade Whiter Shade of Pale for me. Seriously.) Pastels do not a damn thing for me. So, typically I do black. Black EVERYTHING. Everything. Black. Right down to my tips and toes. I like the contrast that a black polished nail brings to my pallid, porcelain skin. Okay, so every now and then I'll rock a classic, timeless red, too, but I can't pull off much else unless it's deep and dark. Spring and summer can be a rough time for a girl like me. The rich, velvety dark winter tones that best define me, give way to watered down colors better suited for Easter eggs and those with pigmentation. Yeah. My spring palette usually doesn't switch up much. Black, gray and maybe the occasional brown or olive green. But what about those tips and toes? They tend to stay black. Unless I can stumble across a rare deep, bright summer gem, which I did this year! (Insert heavenly chorus of angels here:______.) OPI has a great new array of nail color for spring and summer 2010, The Hong Kong Collection. Of course there are a few pale plums and pinks in the collection, but there are also deep oranges and aquas. With blue hues and juicy citrus tones being billed as the new trend for spring and summer 2010, OPI has unleashed a collection with that very trend as its core. Last week I purchased my two favorite shades from the collection, Jade Is The New Black (How fitting is that moniker for ME!?), which is an ab fab rich kelly green, and Suzi Says Feng Shui, which is the Smurfiest, Smurftastic blue ever! The cool, pale tones of my skin really make the green and blue OPI colors pop. Factor in my black hair and green eyes and it's a smash hit! And, my friends are both shocked and thrilled that it's NOT black! Right now my fingertips and toes are enjoying a lovely double coating of Jade Is The New Black, in honor of spring and the return of its glorious greeness! If you head over the OPI site, you can take The Hong Kong Collection for a test drive on your virtual fingertips, even allowing for the adjustment of your nail length and skin tone. Simply click on the color that catches your eye, and VOILA! You've got yourself an instant mani! OPI can be found in salons and finer beauty retailers everywhere, including some online, and a bottle typically retails between $6 to $9. OPI Nail Lacquers hold up better than most drug-store nail enamels and they speak the colors of NOW. Your flip-flops will thank you for your well coordinated pedi, too!

The Script "Breaks Even" With Jimmy Fallon

Irish trio The Script dropped in on Jimmy Fallon to perform their hit Breakeven. Check out the video and see why we're all sixes and sevens over Danny, Mark and Glen. (If the full episode video loads, simply click on the 4th gray bar for The Script's performance.)

K. Stew Reunites With BFF J. Fallon

In case you couldn't stay awake last night, I've brought you a video of Kristen Stewart's visit with "BFF" Jimmy Fallon. She looked chic and stunning in her sequined beige mini. Enjoy!

My Favorite Things: Twilight: The Graphic Novel, Volume 1

I'm a book nerd, a film geek and a Twilight dork, but there is NO SHAME in my game, baby. Today, Tuesday March 16 was a good day. K. Stew was on the TV and a new way to Twilight was on the shelves. Twilight: The Graphic Novel, Volume 1, was among the new Tuesday media releases today. It's Edward and Bella with an anime spin. Korean based artist Young Kim took her pencil to the page, shedding a whole new proverbial light on the romantic vampire saga we all love, mixing her visual genius with Stephenie Meyer's "immortal" words. At 224 pages Twilight: The Graphic Novel, Volume 1, tells roughly half of the first tale of Bella Swan's journey into Forks and the world of Edward Cullen... certainly there will be a Volume 2 or 3 to complete its telling. While it's a bit strange not to see Rob and Kristen as Edward and Bella, it's a totally wicked awesome book and I've never owned anything like it. It's like all of those really cool picture books you had as a kid... but way, way better. Amazon is selling Twilight: The Graphic, Volume 1 novel for $10 and while Walmart claims to do the same, I had to pay $13.87 in-store today. Yeah. Was not happy. We all know that I pride myself on being the GOAT. Greatest (Bargain Shopper) of All Time. However, the book was totally worth having my GOAT title mildly tarnished. Please, somebody else go get and read it so I have someone to talk to about it, damn it.

Oh, and I just have to share this with you guys in all of my geek chic glory. I just received an e-mail notification from Target that my copy of The Twilight Saga: New Moon 3 Disc Deluxe Edition DVD (with BONUS film cell) was shipped today!!! Since I preordered it a month ago, the price has dropped from $24.99 to $19.99 and Target is honoring that sale price! So, there's hope that I will get my DVD by Saturday and NOT have to deal with the swarm of teenage girls.